Kiwi men are poor lovers….
According to recent surveys, the Kiwi blokes are the world’s worst lovers. But who to blame for? It’s no secret that Kiwi men are ranked poorly in the world’s shag-Olympics! We score a 4/10, the worst in the world… Should we take these figures seriously? Of course not! A thing we really don’t like is the fact that Australian men have been crowned the world’s best lovers. This changes everything for us and makes this poor score a real matter of grave national importance!
So, we admit, we urgently need some ‘erotic upskilling’ from the Western world. If you’re a lovely women and are having roots in Italy, Germany, France, or Spain, or even the UK or USA, step into the plane and visit us Down Under. We need experts like you! An erotic public holiday or a household vibrator subsidy won’t be enough to educate us properly.
To set you in the right direction, we give you already a list of our most important points to work on:
- We like to dress up like a kakapo, covered in native fauna and old-fashioned jandels.
- We are too passive, too polite and will never make the first move.
- We are too hesitant, too shy.
- We drink far too much to get to the finish line.
- We are always deep worried about doing or saying the wrong things in love.
- We don’t receive honest feedback from our poor performances.
- We often talk about ourselves and never enquire about our dating partner.
But it’s not all bad news… We also have ‘a couple’ of good points. For example, we are less sexist than Western men in terms of domestic duties. And what may be helpful, Kiwi fellas aren’t looking for a woman to take care of them. On top of that you never have to be afraid of us… We will seldom approach you. In this country women will be making the first move!
Why not giving it a try? We even surprise Kiwi women by the fact that we are paying on a date. Something we really like to do or at least 50/50. If you found us worth, we just ask you to pay for the drinks, we will pay for the food!
So best lovers from the Western world, quickly pack your suitcase and come over! It is your golden opportunity to reduce your holiday costs with at least 50%!
See you Down Under!
A desperate Kiwi fella.
